Dear Autumn,

Where the FACK are you? I'm sitting here with a pile of scarves and we're wondering why you hate us. I want to make a ghosted pun but it's too painful. It's 104 degrees in LA and in tombstones on people's lawns -- when it feels like July -- is just creepy and fucked up.

I understand that the Earth is roasting like a game hen but I hope you come back. To woo you, I made a minisode with the world's weirdest fall ologies and I hope that you like it and you return. I had to order a chai tea iced and I want to pour it down my back to cope, but just know that you're very adored and California is waiting for you.

Lovelorn,
Ward

Listen on Stitcher, iTunes, Omny, Spotify or wherever you get podcasts.

transcript

Links to things discussed:

CUCURBITOLOGY

Disgusting turnip face

Gourd Care 101

AUTUMN PHENOLOGY

Fall is so hot tho

Why the leaves turn — but notsomuch this year

Autumn, we want you back

CHIROPTEROLOGY